CREEPINGNET'S WORLD
My Brief Opinions on Stuff
Doing full rewrites of my opinions.....with short form TLDR here.....click the link on the title for the full article. I write "Walls-O-Text (TM)", so I need to get more organized. Plus I want a layer of abstraction before I let loose and see things I need to re-proofread out.
MIDDLE AGE
It does not mean jack to me. People make this tremendous deal out of me turning 40 in less than a year, and I make ZERO deal out of it because why should I? Oh wow, I'm 40, life's "over half over" - seriously, who are you to tell me when you generally think I'm going to die or whether I am having a midlife crisis. Truth is, I'm not buying a red sports car, I'm not balding so I have no reason to get Monoxodil or whatever the hell else their is, I've got a bit of a waistline, but unusual proportions have always been an issue with me (ie. Shoe Size over 12 from age 9 onward, or hitting my head on the bus door). I honestly think people make too big a deal about this. I'm almmost 40, it's a bloody miracle I'm still here to be honest and still breathing on my own. I'm not sure I'd call it "lucky" but given the kind of abuse I subjected myself to, often by the hands of others, from a very young age, it is a tad surprising I'm not bathing in a (bigger) mire of medical bills and a straightjacket at this point, and I'm sure this applies to others too.
HAVING (OR NOT HAVING) KIDS
Right now, as I see it, having children is irresponsible today, especially if you have more than one or two at most. The planet has almost 8 billion people on it, and the majority of us are stressed out, struggling, suffering, or dealing with high levels of negativity that commercials and television are designed to distract us from. And I don't ever see it getting better, rich people are still greedy and trying to hide that greed under a guise of often scammish philanthropy, the middle class is still being wiped out, and the lower class is still getting mistreated by everyone's judgement. So as far as I can see, the best deed we could do is let our species either lessen or go extinct. You know, bare the skeleton of humanity enough to bring accountability to those who are committing misdeeds that are messing the rest of our lives up.
PUTTING LABELS ON PEOPLE
Labels are an invention of primitive monkey evolvers designed to put other living creatures in a box for the purpose of self preservation - ie, not getting killed by something dangerous. However, we have evolved this as a society as a way to ostracize, judge against, ridicule, and prosecute people who are no actual danger to you or me, often to present misinformation from a biased party to create artifical "wars" and "struggles" with which to distract and/or entertain. Basically, for you simpletons, labels are total garbage in a modern, civilized society. Because it does nothing but polarizes people against one enough, creates division, and prevents others from hearing the other side out.
MARKETING/ADVERTISING
Want to hear my more abrasive opinion go plop "Bill Hicks Marketing" into a search engine and watch the show. But my more "professionally" written opinion on this ~ here it is. Marketing is basically the lazy man's way of selling a sub-par good or service to idiots. True "advertising" orth listening to is word of mouth (with substantial evidence to back it up), or using the product or service yourself for an extended period and undersanding how it works/behaves that made it superior (and how any changes they make make it bad).
CARS
I hate most modern cars. I love old cars, but I hate driving. IF you want a GOOD "modern" car, buy a Toyota Corolla or a Toyota Camry from the 9th, 10th, or 11th Gen. If you want a good "modern" truck - good luck, there aren't any - buy an old manual 1985-1995 Ford Ranger, F-150, or Explorer. Mind you I said "GOOD" not "cool" - "cool" and "good" are not the same thing. Want a GOOD old car, buy a Corolla/Camry/Celica/Mazda Miata/Honda Civic/Accord/Prelude/Del Sol...or a Ford Taurus or Crown Vic Ex-Police Car if you want a reliable AMERICAN car! I could go on about cars I like.
COMPACT TRUCKS & SUVS
It seems everyone wants a regular cab shortbed pickup truck or 2-door SUV like the old Explorer Sport or Bronco II, but nobody including Ford has stepped up to the plate. When they have, it's always been a "compromise" of a 4-door compact pickup truck the size of a land yacht from 1978, or a 2-door that resembles the old truck, but needs 2 zip-codes for it's width. This is a big part of why I refuse to buy a new truck, I can't find one I like enough to want. And the Bronco looks cool, but it's kinda wide, and the engines dying at 5000 miles does not help things any. Not everyone is a bloody family of five that wants to stream Pixar flicks to the backseat to their three kids while they head to Home Despot for potting soil and a new universal remote. Seriously, I almost want to pull a John Z DeLorean or Elon Musk and make my own damn line of modern EV 2-door SUVs and Compact trucks for the domestic market that decimate any of the offerings from anyone else - because I'd do it RIGHT. Or better yet - why not Toyota make the "ElCormino" as I call it - yep, you guessed it - it's a Toyota Corolla pickup truck! If you're gonna' do a FWD pickup, at least do it right! A nice little 1.8 Litre fuel miser any day but snow days, and a demon in the snow!
EV'S
I would be more gung-ho if it were not for the fact the actual battery tech that the US Government created in Mukilteo was not sold to China, but rather to Japan (ie Toyota or Honda), or better yet FORD. Hell, at the worst, why not just use it in their Government Motors (GM) cars and trucks? Look, the goal to me with creating a great Electric Vehicle, is one hat has AT LEAST the same travel distance as a Internal Combustion Engine vehicle before "recharge", has a recharge time short enough to not mean needing to stop at a motel for the night to charge your EV - comparable to a gas station stop is ideal, and the life of the vehicle is up to or exceeds 500,000 miles before eany of the drivetrain, battery, or other important functionality needs to be replaced, and the prices come down to AFFORDABLE for the average new car buyer with intent of holding onto the vehicle beyond 10-12 years. Us long-lifers, like myself, are being left out. This is why I'm driving a 30 year old Ford Explorer with almost 500,000 miles on it (yep, half a million miles), because once again the suits and ties are trying to price the responsible layman out of car ownership.
DRIVING
I like cool and good-boring cars. But I hate, hate, hate, hate DRIVING! There too many people on the roads, many who don't even need to be, and most of them can operate a motor vehicle just barely better than they can operate a computer. I'm a car guy, but I do fully support the idea of self-driving vehicles for the purpose of keeping the consumertards from behind the wheel. I could roll off a royal scroll of transgressions over a month. People love to say that it's a "regional" thing (Ie "those damn California drivers" or "those damn Washington Drivers" or "Opelika is native American for "land of bad drivers" (nope, it's Native American for "Big Swamp" LOL)). Meanwhile, motorists act like pedestrians and bikers are on a nature cruise - nope, some of us are LEGITIMATLEY trying to get somewhere without wasting gas.
PEDESTRIAN LIFE
I like walking. It's good cardio, you can stop and sight see more, you don't need to park a large, expensive, heavy object in a lot full of other large, heavy, expensive objects operated by dunces, or chain some structure of rings and poles (bikes) to another structure to find it gone when you come back, or at least your wheels are gone from the structure. You know how I found all this amazing stuff in town that you never heard of - because I was WALKING and could actually see the little sign of the fledgling hole in the wall that deserves more business, verses the sea of giant, expensive, and irritating distractions designed to sell you on a huge conglomerate's idea of "health".
BICYCLING (AS A TALL AND BIG GUY)
I like riding bicycles but I can't enjoy it as much as other people because I'm a 6'4" tall hobbitses whose ideal weight is over 225LBS. Last time I was that thin, I was 32, fresh off surgery, and people thought I had some kind of Anemia problem, or was about to die. I was offered Pizza, Cake, Candy, every fattening and sugary thing because I made a healthy Ric Ocasek look like the Monty Python Glutton. Because of this, finding an affordable, department store bike is next to impossible. I destroy rear axles like I'm racing the thing against Bigfoot at Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Live, and rip up Derailers like I'm trying to drag race Herbie the Love Bug. I'm guessing this is why Vice Grip Garage does nnot do Bicycles because you could compare my physique to Derek. It sucks because I like cycling, but I'm too heavy, too fast, and too aggressive for your regular Target special.
BEING TALL & BIG IS NOT EVERYTHING
I'm sick of hearing how "lucky" I am being a big, tall guy. I'm NOT. Every size and shape has it's drawbacks and benefits. Sure, I'm tall, I can reach stuff on the top shelf of aa store without assistance from anyone, but I hit my head on doorways, I did it every day on the school bus as a teen. You don't get more "honeys" that way either. Trust me, I was the biggest loser in high school. Everyone assumes I was some kind of high school manw**re, nope, the only p***y I got was cuddles from 18 cats owned by the crazy cat lady that raised me. Shoe size...d*** size? Who cares. I'm sick of having to pay over $150 for a pair of bloody shoes! The only good thing that came out of that is the more material of the African American kids around me obsessed with Air Jordans stopped beating me up for my "pie crusts" after that.
DATING SUCKS
I'm glad I'm married and I got the right person. Because I would have quit dating over 10 years ago if not anyway. First off, the truth that you are considered "attractive" means you'll be knee deep in women is a total lie. It's just like being the "attractive" girl, all the guys are not asking you out because they think they are out of your league. But unlike a woman on that level, you don't have the 10,000,000 other suitors pestering you daily with d*** pics and trying to use your social media to pry-bar their way into your life. To add to it, dealing with human beings is exhausting and irritating, especially when they are strangers and you don't know them that well, adn are trying to get to know them. It's a painful process, and people are a painful species - royally. I feel it's probably 1000x worse for single folks now because everything is done using phone apps. Christ, is there anything left that we do that is not augmented by a computer in some fashion? I like computers, but christ, I don't want or need a computer to do EVERYTHING for me!
I DON'T LIKE HUMANITY MUCH, IF AT ALL
I'm a bit misanthropic to say the least. I find most humans to be selfish, self-righteous, self-important, and most of all, blinder than a bat with bad sonar - in the figurative sense. I hate crowds, unless they are all in front of me (ie ON STAGE), I can't stand going to the store, nor can I stand traffic. People just seem to be getting dumber and ddumber the longer I live. People say "oh, it's no different than when we were your age" and the young say "oh, you're just ooooold", truth is somewhere in between. I've clocked humanity to make all embarassing and intimate activities very public by the time I'm an old wretch, and everything to seem very black market that once was legitimate once I'm that age too. I see no future for humanity, except rampant stupitidy. If only we could freeze things at 2000-ish at the latest. If there is an afterlife that forces reincarnation - I want to be a domestic house cat, or a black or brown bear, so either I can sleep in a window for 14 hours a day, or terrorize the race that terrorized me in a previous life. Every time some Elija Wood lookin' hipster mofo tells me "But look at all the amazing technology we have" I want to take that iPhone they can barely manage to eek a phone call out of and jam it down their throat.
HOLIDAYS
I can't stand holidays at all anymore. They're fun when you're a kid and you don't have to spend 9 1/2 hours or more preparing your place to look "festive" enough that people don't start asking where your "spirit" is. When you're only responsibility is not to talk to the older people that secretly hate children, hide away in your room and play with your toys for hours, and stay out of people's hair. Now every person in your life contributes a complicatiion, you have a list of subjects to derail for the sensitive people in the "audience", you have a list of subjects to bring up with certain friends and family to carry out some form of not-really-business-business, and if not, you are, as a husband, supposed to just shut up and lock yourself away....at least, that's what she says, until people show up, and then everyone wonders why the hell you're not smiling....when in reality it's just because you hate your own smile and prefer looking more like Joe Strummer and Mick Jones on a "The Clash" album cover in photos because it's your "better side".
VACATIONS
Vacationing as a kid was cool. Aside from the car trip. Because somehow that six hour drive seemed like forever and every and a day. Vacationing as an adult, however, is a PAIN, even with the wife packing everything. Now, instead of laying in the back of the car, hoping the next gas stop yields more AAs for your Game Boy, now you're hoping the next gas stop comes up soon because the tank is on "E", and the one Google Maps said was nearby is no longer open and condemned. Now instead of dreading going back to school, you're dreading what's going on at work RIGHT NOW, whose confused by your information, whether they actually read it, whether some idiot is going to call in the middle of something fun to ruin it with work questions, what kind of mess you have to cleanup when you get back, and how many fingers will be pointing at YOU for it. Once you get to your destination, either the hotel is bloody expensive, or really a "Joes Apartment" level nightmare with a bunch of people outside all night talking. Are they drunk college students or a bunch of gang bangers that will let us know at 3 a.m. of the various sex crimes being committed with noises from next door....or will I need to stake one through the chest with a luggage rack like some kind of screwed up vampire execution? Your dreams are the places you visit will be fun and exciting, instead they become frustrating messes full of crowds. You know what "vacation" is for me nearing 40? It's STAYING HOME, and playing Guitar/Video Games/Off-Roading far away from people.
COMPUTING PLATFORMS
Basically, they all suck. The Major commercial ones (Microsoft, Apple), basically design products based on aesthetics so you'll buy the next one because it "looks cool", when rarely it provides any actual features that bolster productivity or create any sort of value for the price. But on the flip side, open-source solutions, such as Linux, end up being the darlings of elitist jerks who call themselves Nerds/Geeks who refuse to give a so-called "Newbie" a hand in learning thee platform, which is why something like Linux will never be mainstream or take off. And when it does, it'll have been bght up by some billionaire Zoomer who will then collect our advertising information to sell more crap to us in lieu of side-loading applications we actually want and can use. There's a reason I talk incessantly about vintage hardware, because my FreeDOS systems are not guilty of this kind of baloney.
CONSUMERTARDS
Consumertards are basically people who purchase products that are from terrible coompanies, poorly designed, poorly built, with poor implimentation, or some other issue that was not considered before purchase. They do this because the goods and services they purchase are for the sole purpose of "keeping up with the Joneses" rather than fulfilling a job or task first. They also never read the tiny booklet that comes with a product, and when they do ask questions to someone who knows better, they are either condescending or condeming toward the person or product they are asking. Once a product passes 3 years old, it's considered "garbage" and time to "upgrade" to the latest version, which usually is far more restrictive and difficult to live with than the last iteration - but t's new, shiny, and made of brushed aluminum, so congrats on your brand new "modern" status symbol paperweight. I'll gladly take it off your hands for free once you deemed it's no longer "useful" (becausse you don't even know how to use it). ~ And Yeah, I stole this term from ToastyTech, it's a GOOD term!
ON END (L)USERS
What is an "End Luser" - the End Luser is your typical consumertard that bought a computer or other digital device. They are the people that listened to a bunch computer illterate businesspeople, marketers, and politicians tell them how "computers are the future" and "computers are smart machines, that are incapable of errors", and that if you buy technology, it will "make your life easier". I'm here to tell you ANY technology, digital, mechanical, or otherwise, is not as simple as that "official" looking dude in the commerical said it would be before you graced the doors of your local Best Buy. They typically resort to manipulation, lying, and Karen/Stan type tactics in order to get anyone telling them what they don't want to hear into trouble or fired, sometimes to cover up their own misdeeds.
RELIGION
Here's an interesting one. How about you keep yours, and I'll keep mine. How about we not fight about what we get in the afterlife or what life actually is, because it's overall, quite stupid. First off, your religion is likely not much different than anyone else's including agnostics, spiritual but not religious, and people who don't believe in anything but science and/or the end just being a eternal dirt nap. I grew up for a part of my first 18 years in the bible belt and honestly, the kind of judgemental hatred fundimentalist Christians has shown me, including some priests, reverends, and others, has me thinking that maybe science is the best way. So here's what I believe, there IS a "god" or "gods", but they are not what you think they are. Virtue and Morals and Values tend to be quite universal among each other, it's only when man starts writing books that the holy wars start. Also, Religion is just an outdated version of government and science anyway. When it started, we did not have electron microscopes and large Haldron Colliders to learn how the world works, we had Just-So-Stories passed on and corrupted by generations. The old Chris Rock joke is right "all these people are dying of shellfishs poisoning....how do we stop them!?!? I know, tell them GOD said not to do it!". I've tried on many hats: Lutheran, Baptist, Catholic, Messianic Jewish, and agnosticism. So I've decided I'll be a part of a growing movement of "nothingism" - aka, you're so damn busy trying to survive, and live in this crazy world, you don't have time to listen to a bunch of judgy humans judge you when the human-written book of existential law tells you they can't.
POLITICIANS
Coming off of an entire night of the Laxalt/Sisolak/Lombardo celebrity roast between espisodes of Mike Tyson's Biopic, I've come to realize that I pretty much hate any generally (but not always - meaning these are not limits, just the status quo) cis gender white old guy who had a high ranking job in the public sector who thinks they know everything about everything and have no faults. This is both local and federal I can't stand. It's the same darned thing every time: two or more old people arguing with each other about each other over who took the most handouts from campaign investors, who stole funding from COVID, who funded a faulty testing company, who touched a woman inapropriatley, who touched a man inapropriately, whose the most religious, whose served the community the longest....almost none of it with a scientific level of substance. And then the simplpetons are expected to mae an EDUCATED decision and VOTE on this dreck? If I was not wasting a vote, I'd start writing myself in because it seems I have just as much a clue as any of these fools. Seriously, I think we should just pull in the reluctant, dirty, grimy, homeless person to make decisions for our governments, they might actually take it seriously enough to RTFM and learn how things work.
POLITICS
I dislike all sides equally. Basically, political parties are nothing more than "Focus Groups" created by marketing to sell you on a set of ideals and stereotypes of which you are hopefully following to a "T" so you "fit in" and can be easily fed sub-par, Un-American products and goods, and services, and create division for the entertainment of rich people who like animosity, and most likely benefit financially from it. What one "side" loves, the other hates, and so goes an endless cartoon fight of epic proprotions all for stupid reasons.
FREE SPEECH/1ST AMENDMENT
Free Speech is an essential, unalienable right for all humans on the planet to allow us to do two things - firstly, be heard, and secondly, find out who the idiots are (so we know not to listen to them). That said, that does not mean that a private sector establishment or someone's house is protected by it because it is their own personal property with which to do as they wish. And that's fine, because honestly, you do have the right to create your own home, website, business where it IS allowed.
GUN CONTROL/2nd AMENDMENT
The 2ND Amedment right shall not be infringed, and I'm not going to fill you with a bunch of b.s. about "hunting". It was put in the constitution as a form of ensuring that we the people can team up and drive out any tyrannical force that attempts to attack the country. This is kind of like the "ether/starting fluid" used to start America's engine if something goes wrong - firguratively speaking. A tyrannical force can corrupt any wing or defense mechanism, hence why it's not specifically outlined what "wing" is used. That said, Republicans are total idiots in believing that they have the chance of out-gunning an Apache Helicopter with 2" Rounds of ammo at up to 500 rounds a minute with their crappy little 762x59 equipped AK. I hate to say it, but you all are dead. Like any sort of weapon, it's a last resort for personal defense. It ensures one of two things happens - one, we win and get our country back, two, we lose, and all the people who believed in the experiment die, allowing room for an awful future without us being alive to remember it and lament it. That's how it's supposed to work.
DRUG/ALCOHOL ABUSE ISSUES
I'm on the same page that it's indeed a illness and not something the person can control. That said, as one who has dealt with people addled with this issue it's a frickin' trying thing for all involved and in mymind's eye, it's best just not to get into the shit in the first place, especially if you run the risk of getting addicted to stuff. Some people make this crap their life and it irritates the hell out of me. My last band became a bunch of drug - mostly pot - addled vegitables, I've had to deal with alcoholics on numerous occasions, and not a damn bit of it was fun or great. Most of those folks had real problems that they were running from, which is a sign of how our healthcare system, especially mental healtcare, in America has failed us so bad.
HEALTHCARE
The best healthcare you'll ever get in the U.S.A. is to take care of yourself well enough to not have to go to a doctor or specialist except a couple of times. But it's also totally unfair because not everyone has great genetics either. But it's so bloody expensive there are people who would rather die than pay for care - this is a reason I think ALL American Politicians and businesspeople suck - because they'd sell their own children into slavery just to make sure they have the $580K for a brand new Yacht. So of course, insulin is too expensive for diabetics, rehab requires a old-school rockstar salary, and on top of it, everything has a waiting list 100 miles long because that's what you get with this level of neglect as a result of cost. It's f***ing stupid.
HOMELESSNESS
Homelessness, like Drug/Alcohol abuse, is a SYMPTOM of a failed system. THe ideal of the American system of housing is that places like Apartments and rental houses are intended for people who as of yet cannot afford a home or property of their own. The ultimate goal is to own property and the house on it, big or small, rich or poor. But what we really have is homeless people with no hope of getting a job because they either suffer from affliction(s), and have difficulty getting the normal things we, the regular folks, who are stuck renting, take for granted, because we have a system that is heavily slanted toward the rich and against the poor, instead of indifferent to class, and focused on true industriousness and skill level. We have failed our society.
THE HOUSING CRISIS
The housing crisis is the result of letting rich people play games with properties they have little to no interest in. Look, I don't give a crap if you're a trillionaire in America or elsewhere who wants to own a $127,000 house in a regular, non HOA neighborhood, but by god, you'd better be LIVING IN IT FULL TIME!! Otherwise, you're screwing everyone else who can't afford a house from affording one. Same goes for these "flippers" who buy a wrecked property that someone like me would rebuild and lovingly STAY there for at least 7-10 years before selling - likely due to shite neighbors or employment changes - rather than buying the place for UNDER market value, then flipping it for 5x+ more than that so some trust fund kiddies can start their own HOA and start terrorizing the other homeowners in the area with their stupid nazi-like rules regarding grass length, approved colors, car age, and when and how long you can leave your garbage can out after the garbage truck comes.
APARTMENTS
Apartments are SUPPOSED to be low-income housing for people who are saving up to buy a house. What they really are is an endless scam of nickel-and-diming fees and money making opportunities for the landlords - aka. Property Management Companies (who never see their own properties anyway) - who really don't give a rats arse if you live in a mouse, roach, and hornet infested hellhole with psychotic and drug addled neighbors that terrorize you. You pay more, the property is prettier, but the same rules apply, you pay less, the same rules apply, but the property actually looks the way the tenants and front office are. I seriously despise apartments, I think people with kids should not live in one, and there should come a point that if you rent long enough you should be building equity in the unit enough that the complex has to buy YOU out when you move out, especially since Maintainence either does a poor job, never shows up, or both.
GENERATIONS
It's the same darned crap in every generation. You're born, you're the "future", you're the "troublemaker upstarts that are too noisy", you are the "young idealists", then you're "Finally growing up", then you're "over the hill", then you're "old", then you are "elderly". Every generation goes in as kids who only care about stupid crap, going into a teenagehood where they care about stupid crap that's trying to teach them about important crap but they are too young, blind, and stupid to see....only to understand it by their 20's and try to start some artistic brigade for a time that most likely fails, only to enter their 30's defeated but excelling at work, to enter into middle age dealing with their newfound realization they DO have a lot of good answers, to turn into bloated, out-of-touch old people who still think they are 40 and actually smart enough to know the world enough to make a good point, but can hardly handle the latest situatioin without complaining about all the changes from what they grew up with over 60 years ago, only to die much to the relief of the young, and the distain of the middle agers that tried to listen to them. Nothing is new under the sun, just recycled with a new brand name.
GEN Z
The good they bring into the world is true equal rights and protection for all via focus on protected classes, but the bad that comes with it is this almost nazi-like policing of something as inane as offending someone to the point that I would not be surprised if the 1st amendment is repealed, which will allow stupid people to prevail rather than making themselves known. I look at sexist/racist/homophobic people speaking as this, they are the hornet that stings you thereby announces you have a nest that needs shot down with hornet killer, or the exterinators called - without that initial sting, you might never have noticed it, but unlike Hornets, they won't go away without the spray. The good is they bring new schools of thought to finance and technology, the bad is that these new schools of thought make an infomercial from 1990 at 3 am look as legit as treating someone as you want to be treated. Seriously, more people would believe in bitcoin or alternative currency based on blockchain if it did not feel like I was buying a Pocket Fisherman from Ron Popeil by buying into the ideology. I'd settle for "Ron Popeil Food Dehydrator" sketch. I'll give em' this, they wear their prejudices on their sleeves prior to being socially cancelled.
GEN Y
I hate my own generation and they are much a reason for what Gen Z is a reaction against. We pretend to be so altruistic and equala opportunity, but I'd be richer than Jeff Bezos if I had a dollar for every time a peer pulled me aside and talked in hushed tones about their own prejudices that they were just talking about like they are Mother Teresa a few minutes ago (who also has skeletons in her own closet I might add). We were the start of this hyper liberal utopia-wannabe b.s. parade, thanks to our Gen X influences from the "Grunge" era. Except we took it to such an extreme the people who were so "liberal" in the 90's now are conservatives and probably voted for Trump/The Orange Terror because of us. We're the kids that went around illegally downloading MP3s all through our teens, then spent our 20's wondering why our shitty emo band's could not make any money or get signed. We're the generation that made social media popular on the premise of whining about politics like boomers, showing off our latest purchased *bling* like a "gangsta", all the while culturally apropriating other races and creeds as a form of "respect" while not at all understanding what any of it was about. We say we're not commercial, but we base our self-worth on material possessions, something I've learned not to do. Seriously, it's the reason I consider myself an "orphan" of the generations, while everyone else was singing "In Bloom" while telling their girlfriends to shut up and obey, and making fun of the two guys kissing next to them, I was more likely to join Kurt Cobain when he jumps offstage to beat up some hick physically torturing his girlfriend. So yeah, my generation is null.
GEN X
To me, the last great generation, if only they'd speak up and make noise once in awhile. Christ, you have Michael Stipe, Joe Strummer, Kurt Cobain, Ru Paul, Bono, Eddie Vedder, Dave Grohl, John Lydon, and many others in your camp with good stuff to say! I mean even your celebs were at least interesting and fun to listen to because they actually had a individual mind and not a HIVE MIND. But you just sorta' whimpered off when so-called-my stupid generation took over, and then turned (mostly) to the dark side. The only thing I can think of is it's because they did not fight hard enough at middle age, because tey were the last era that truly bucked tradition rather than embraced and then built upon it while pretending not to (retro). C'mon, they had the coolest cars, coolest fashion, best music, best musicians, seemingly the most balanced politics, and it seems like the last time people could come together in a crowd and not come within an inch of killing each other over a mole hill! And for once, eveen your POLITICAL bands like The Call or U2 could put down their damn self-righteous speechery in favor of fun once in awhile, something nobody my age or younger can do.
BOOMERS
The original sellouts. THe Hippie movement is proof that sometimes violence and force is needed for change, otherwise you end up with a bunch of drugged up skeletors in nothing but fringe coats screwing your scene for change up and making it as relevant as the printing press is today. That's one thing Gen X did right that you guys didn't! Then you became the fat, old people who tell everyone younger than you that we're wrong, all the while terrorizing us with endless tirades of conservative dreck on social media. You tell everyone about "diet" but you're either 300LBS with diabetes and coronary artery disease, or you lost a ton of weight because of a tapeworm from that "organic" apple you bought at the local Discount Grocery that had more Monsanto pesticides than you do hair plugs. The boomers are the old fat texan guy on his porch thinking he's going to use his Mossberg 500A to take out an Apache Helicopter and a Sherman tank plus a line of better trained soldiers. They are the crowd of old people at a Orange Scourage rally agreeing with Alex Jones inspired rhetoric that never worked or was truthful in the first place. The same people who preach peace and free-love for all, but then told you you don't deserve love, healthcare, or a house because you did not "work hard enough" even though you are being forced into Anger Management therapty by your wife, have been promoted 8 times, and make enough that if it were 1988 you'd already be living in in the neighborhood you WISHED you lived in in 1988.
MUSIC TODAY
I can't stand most of today's music, and it stinks because it gets in the way of finding the things I want to find, which is mostly rock and metal inspired stuff that actually sounds cool. There's two industries as I see it: one is the mainstreram industry that's been cramming the same crop of corporate owned EDM and R&B figures while shilling the "legacy acts" who only play their hits because that's what "sells". On the other side, you have an underground industry of indie labels and self-producers like myself who won't ever get much notice because we are not falling into the Disney-approved, family friendly, socially acceptable, agenda-following music that the suits and ties want us to put out so they can pay us in 30 years to put our song about some kind of inequality to an ad for a shaver. Meanwhile, the more "pop" folks around me feel the need to "expose" me to stuff I know I won't like because it has not changed in 15 years. I tend to find, most "new" music I find on accident.
ROCK IS DEAD
Rock is not dead, rock's at my house, hanging out on the couch. But in all due honestly, it seems to me almost hilarious how as much as the media proclaims it "dead" or "coming back", it's still hanging around with a bunch of us young and old whining that it's gone and not in the mainstream. I think that's the function of rock TBH, to hang around in the underground, because that's where every movement and advance in the genre gets it start - in the garage with it's bullshit detector - and then it goes public, sells out, gets stupid, then retreats back to the garage for some ego-busting and more b.s. detection for the next movement. It just has the biggest job of it's life as a genre and it's getting harder and harder for it to get ready and be ready in a moment's notice. So it's still there, in the underground, while we are served up an illusion that it's dead with some questionably plucked teenage girls fronting a "producer"'s works.
GUITAR IS DEAD
Nope, I have an army, 28 going on almost 34 STRONG, and all of em' are active except those being mended, buttoned up, and trained. There's plenty of us around, and better yet, we are more equal opportunity than ever, with 50% of the market of guitar now being FEMALE for once in my entire life. Christ, that kind of thing was merely a wet dream when I was a teenager. Heck, my wife is one of em'! It's just a lot of the b.s. we were fighhting to get rid of during the 00's is finally starting to go away. That vintage guitars have some magical untouchable mojo that facilitates taking out an auto-loan on a Stratocaster. That somehow getting your hands on a celebrity's bespoke instrument will make you a better player or make hit songs just come from the sky (I just like Paul Dean's design, that's why I have one like his). That you NEED a floyd rose to do Whammy bar (personally, I prefer the Fender Dynamic Vibrato found on Mustangs and Jag-Stangs more). That you need expensive Tubes, a $3000 200 watt head, and a Les Paul to sound "professional" (Kurt Cobain used $50 Univoxes and a $250 Randall and he was a tighter player at that time - what's your excuse!?!?). The best investments is a guitar you like, an amp with the sound you want, and most importantly, GOOD SPEAKERS (I like Celestion GK-85s myself). Brands don't even matter. Gibson makes overpriced stuff, Fender has too many models, PRS is still milking that one body design for all it's worth, Squier is getting too expensive to be called "starter" anymore due to Fender's rising prices, everyone's still cashing in on their legacies, at least Fender is making NEW models, but overall, who cares what's on the headstock. People are focusing more on PLAYING now rather than showing off their new Tele or Les Paul like they got a pair of Jimmy Page Nikes shoes.
CELEBRITY GOSSIP STINKS
Unfortunatley, having someone into pop-culture (and un-pop-culture) in my house means I do have to hear about the occasional celeb b.s. While not as bad as in other households by far, I could do without having to hear about what Paulina Portizkova said about her dead husband this week, or what Courtney said about her dead husband last week, or who got married, who has been married 40 years, who divorced, who has 9 ex-wives, and whose being hauled off to jail for things unrelated to their career. Seriously, I liked life better when I thought the Kardasians were some kind of Star Trek villan! Amy Schumer had a baby - great, I don't care. Amy Schumer has an uncle in politics....oh wow, another democrat senator with ties to the entertainment industry...whodathunkit (/sarcasm). Ted Nugent is cancelled (why has thiis not been a thing long ago?). If I need to hear about stupid shit from strangers, I'll go to a bar, order a Guiness, and listen to the regulars talk about their parolee-wannabe brother who shot 4 people in Reno just to watch them die...which is never. Besides, it's all the same crap anyway: divorce, cancelled due to sexual misconduct, cancelled due to political views, cancelled for sexism/racism/cultural apropriataion, kid died, spouse died, spouse died and they blame lack of love as the reason...you know, same tabloid B.S. - I honestly don't care. If I want drama (which I never do), all I have to do is breathe because it's everywhere and choking me at this point. "Born of a Single Mama, died of Asphyxiation Via Drama" can be the epitath on my tombstone!
WHY I CAN'T STAND NEW TV SHOWS (MOSTLY)
About all I can stand is documentaries. Because they don't make me want to strangle someone. OTherwise, it's the same darned thing and same three genres: Sitcom full of stupid humor designed specifically for water cooler talk, usually with the same four or five would-be SNL comedians. A "true life" drama story where by the end I'm being asked to get therapy or go to a shrink because of all the Freddy Krueger-esque ways I want to filet 90% of the characters by the end of it. Or some RomCom series about a dejected single woman where she's always wrong, but that's okay, because "she's a woman", though regardless of her gender I just feel she's a total a-hole and I just want the show to get cancelled. And if I actually enjoy any darned show in a rare case, it always jumps the shark at some point or I lose interest because it degenerates into one of the three formulas above.
WHY I CAN'T STAND MODERN MOVIES (MOSTLY)
Like modern TV shows, same five tropes: Sepia or Blue Toned Action Movie with Villan I want to end from minute one, Red/Yellow Toned RomCom, Superheroes, Disney Pixar Pukefest, or yet another Old Movie Sequel or Remake. The Action Movies are the simplest, it's always got a blue or sepia filter, that same tribal drum music over an orchestra, usually of a Godsmack or Tool piece of music from 20 years ago, always some multinational military crew of four to six people who can't get along reprresenting every race, nation and creed blowing up about 9 Trillion dollars of props. Then there's the Red/Yellow filter RomCom movie that involves a woman who this time is always right, looking for Mr. Right, who is a bumbling idiot usually played by one of the same 4 generic Yuppie dad looking guys, that climaxes with a horrific split-up, and ends either with a wedding or a somber end with a unrealistic life lesson. Then there's the Superhero movie for Jarheads and their kids. Basically some life lesson taught by a sentient thing that's not supposed to be sentient, or some underdog with super powers, who makes my anti-drama senses tingle with anger at some point. And of course it's so corny and cheesy it makes a 1980's Disney Flick look like Mad Max by comparison. Then there's the Disney Pixar Pukefest, whatever they felt like animating this year, followed with a Frog-Voiced-Singer sung Ukelele and Triangle music, and a bunch of feel good tropes for kids to keep them from hating life at 4 years old. Then there's the "Another Old Movie Sequel or Remake" thing. Basically, some IP from 20-30-40 yeears ago is dug up from the archives, and then expanded upon with a sequel or a "next generation" trope. Sometimes this is not so bad - ie Top Gun: Maverick did it RIGHT - but most of the time it's a disaster. Either it's a sequel that begets more horrificly bad sequels (Star Wars), or it's a remake that replaces everything endearing about the original with pukefest modern fads (ie JEM or Footloose - c'mon, I'd rather see 60 year old Kevin Bacon cut the rug over Kenny Loggins and co. than a Dubstep/Trap remake of the theme song and a 12 year old playing a 16 year old leading a flash mob at a retro-80's themed dance devoid of any real original 80's music). In the last 10 years, only two movies left an impression on me: Top GUn: Maverick, and Mad Max: Fury Road. They were not perfect, but they at least TRIED and almost hit the perfect mark by doing it RIGHT.
SAMPLING/REMAKES OF OLD SONGS
Another modern annoyance is sampling/remakes. People automatically assume because there's 15 seconds of Billy Squier's "The Big Beat" there that I'm going to suddenly love it because of 15 seconds of the full five minute original track I already have in my collection. Nope, and it only gets worse as the Auto-Tune, Blast Beats, and the whole break and shoutout section starts. You know the whole trope (Just What I needed Starts) "I don't mind you comin' here', I don't mind, I dont mind !...!...!...!...!!..!!..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (KABOOM ~ Sample of Some Nonsensical Gibberish ~ So starts the blast beats) "Yo yo yo, shoutout to my homies in los angeles, we sippin mai tais listenin' to Vangelis, my homie go home in the ambulance, cause he drank a pool fulla' liqor and he dived in it!" (looks up to the skies and sees Ben Orr and Ric Ocasek standing cross armed and frowning) *sigh*. Yeah, look, I like the original song for what it was. Not what some Zoomer or Millennial who bumped the record player decided to throw on top that has nothing to do with the original song at all. And of course they cut the masterful guitar solo from it if it has one - yeah "E.E. (Elliot Easton) is out, yo yo MC. Professor Lil' Ee.Ee is in!". Seriously, they call all day about what is "cringe", but never look in the mirror to realize ruining a classic for some of us like that is more cringe than that person who seriously thinks they can rap but can't, then talk about hypocrisy. Look, go on ahead if you want to, just don't assume I like it because it's a song I like because the derivative work and the original are two separate things. Maybe I should start converting Boyz 2 Men into Pop Metal or New Wave songs. Or make Justin Timberlake go Metal!
FROG VOICE UKELELE AND TRIANGLE MUSIC
The official music of aging Hipsters. They traded their Jazzmasters, Fanos, and Bilts for Ukeleles, fired their bandmates, and put their uppity, mousey faux-greenie-vegan wife for frontwoman and manager. Now we get 3000 hours of wax moustache monocle clad old-timey music so boring yet jarring half of Mumford and Sons went to sleep and the other half are downing more microbrews at "hospital visit speed" so as not to kill the performers. And it permeates everywhere like a silent-but-deadly-fart from ads to TV shows to that one random station that requirers a 4" thick beard to know of it's existence. This music is the official music of commercials using infographics and having a man with the complextion of a obese Owl as their spokesperson. The official music of Creepingnet putting his headphones on and blasting Journey while walking around Portland or Seattle! UGH! Or the offical music of Creepingnet plugs in a Jag-Stang, Jaguar, and Dean Machine and cranks everything up to 11 with punk level anger.
THE ODYSSEY "SWEETHEART" "BLACK BAR S" SCENARIO
I know someone is going to ask me about this whole guitar thing being as I'm a huge fan of a certain Canadian band and their guitarist's handiwork in guitar design. I've been tempted to write this somewhere for awhile but not sure where, but here seems best. My short take on this is I wish "The Player" the best of luck. TBH, I like the new design but I kind of miss the wider treble side horn of the orginal version from 1982, it made it look more unique and less slike a Strat. That said, what I do see is pretty cool and I like it - and it's hard for me to keep my money in my pocket, lol. But as I have a homebuilt "Sweetheart Custom" in the works at home that I've had since 2018 with dual P-90s.
MODERN TECH
I spend a lot of time messing with vintage hardware and software because modern stuff honestly, it sucks. Basically put, you have usually overpriced and commercial bloatware running on top of a overpriced and buggy piece of hardware that seems to somehow get better with age rather than worse. And to make sure none of that is compromised because the bloat makes it so massively complex you need to have a specialist on just one portion of the software, you need to have some kind of draconian security thing that only the highest paid infosec professionals ~ not the dorks online who love to scream at a LCD panel from their Dorito-shart stained armchairs ~ understand how the heck it works, and most likely, they'll tell you you don't need that piece of crap. Modern tech is kind of like like being a naieve idiot at a car dealership - you'll leave with the diamond encrusted undercoating, gold-leaf window sill enhancers, and blinker fluild gauge appened to your vehicle for an ungodly sum of money with a terrible auto loan that costs only $25/mo. but you'll be paying for the rest of your life. That's how I see the tech industry today. And see why I'm not a fan of "suits and ties"? Seriously, the kind of people who say "the latest and the greatest" without a hint of sarcasm are the same people who'd buy a pocket fisherman or one of the dad from Gremlins inventions.
ARMCHAIR INFOSEC IDIOTS
Anybody else tired of these dweebs. If they were paid what a REAL infosec pro was, they would not be hanging around online harassing us vintage computer guys for puting our old machines on the internet or making erronious claims that a reala professional would not make. I swear, you give one bored, low-self-esteem guy a book on Internet Security and he suddenly thinks he's the next Peter Norton by Chapter 2...I'd say more like John McAfee if anything. The #1 security piece you have is COMMON SENSE. So putting a 286 Webserver online is NOT irresponsible. Neither is surfing from an old Laptop. Hackers and people who create such software do for one of two reasons - they are either trying to extort money from somewhere, or trying to exert some level of destruction as a form of manipulation or revenge. A 486 computer with a internet connection does not fall under either....oh wow, I have a HDD I can restore in 5 minutes from a cloud backup on a modern PC with modern antivirus, and the most valueeable thing on the whole computer is the computer itself, which is not cybercrime, that's just you breaking into my house to steal a laptop that's worth about $25 to a retro-gamer - so petty theft.
VINTAGE COMPUTERS
Save them. All of em, every one you can. I'm a fan of the x86 IBM Compatible persuasion honestly, but there's other great platforms: Commodore 64, Amiga, TRS-80, Macintosh, Apple II, S-100 Bus 70's CP/M machines. If it were not for these, you would not be reading this here, and I'd be that weird uncle blasting 80's songs while working on his old car and playing in a bar band for a living. Also, old PCs did it better, I don't care what anyone says. I got a 486 that works as a DAW and despite reaching the end of what that thing is capable of, it never hangs up or crashes. I surf the Web in DOS and there's no spyware, malware, adware - and I can't buy anything either, so my wallet stays fat! And the games don't need a $15/mo. server fee for participation online, I just setup a DOOM game over the internet using TCP/IP and we're ready to rock. No updates, so nothing breaks because some d***head thinks I "NEED" a 3D Paint program!