Want to lose me as a customer....just do the below!!!
I don't want to give too much about myself away, I'm not even that big about my biological family, but my grandfather ran Sorensen & Sons painting company in Racine Wisconsin in the 1950's, and I was told he never advertised! All his work, word of mouth. THIS is something I DO highly agree with my ancestry about. It has given me a tremendous hatred of advertising as a result.
But the people trying to justify their jobs in Marketing just have to justify their existence with this bullshit...so to that I say...listen to the late great comedian Bill Hicks below...he wasn't joking, neither am I! I'll let him do the talking on my opinion - take it away Bill!
Now, I'm no longer just poking at singular ads...I'm going nuclear. YouTube has done every stupid thing in their power to take away the ability to downvote, reply to, target, or attack their ads...but what they don't know, is I'm in I.T.....I WILL Figure out a way to repost their atrocious shit, and bring to it, the **wrong** (read RIGHT) kind of attention.
And we all know who to blame for this shit. EVERY GOD DAMNED TIME that orange freak gets in the whitehouse, it seems American advertising goes fucking insane, YouTube reflects it of course, and then we get these insane ads for stuff that if it were to save my life, I'd take my chances on going without! Seriously, this is Dave Chapelle's Internet come to life! What's next? Queen Nephie and Ron Jeremy's ghost start teaming up to continue to wreck Goth Culture? Am I going to need to give an uppercut to Andrew Tate and Jim Kramer (the financial weirdo, not the Bigfoot Driver, Jim Kramer in Bigfoot rocks - it's the same name b.s. that makes me hate Paula Deen because I'm trying to find PAUL DEANs guitars not some southern hick's fried chicken!)
Ads that Go On Too Long (isn't that all of them)
You know these types of ads, they are like 30 friggin minutes long, and ramble on about bullshit like it's the most important thing in the bloody world. Because we all know I need to hear a goddamn Ted Ed Fred Talk on "free" Solar Panels or how to invest in Crypto. Fuck, even Salty Nutella from Microslop had one for the AI Powered Surface a few months back that haunted me in the middle of the damn night while listening to ASMR! Having flashbacks to Studio C and arguing with Dell over diagnostics isn't exactly a pleasant dream!
Ads That have worse Production Quality than my own YouTube Channel
Seriously, when I see an ad that looks like I'm watching someone do vertical video with a Aiptek Pencam Plus from 2002 babbling about some piece of garden equipment or medical aid for old people, I start to question my sanity. I've seen Infomercials from 1990 for local Action Buildings and Leer Truck Tops that look more legit! I've seen local Monster Truck rally ads that look more legit. Seriously, I could make a better ad with my circa 2010 Logitech Webcam in my garage!
Ads for Guitar Equipment
You known your hobby is ruined when suddenly it has fucking TV ads for it. I remember the halcyon days of you finding a guitar you liked by seeing it on VH1/MTV and then going to a GUITAR SHOP to try it out and find out if it was good, or if it sucked. Now you just watch YouTube - don't even bother with the free Lesson, Fender's got you covered with Fender Play, and the new Vintera 12 series featuring yet another tele, yet another strat, a seriously gimped Jaguar, a seriously nerfed Jazzmaster, a Mustang that should be branded as a Duo-Sonic, another single pickup 2 knob P-Bass, another 2 pickup 3 knob Jazz Bass, and maybe, just maybe, yet another version of the Squier VM Bass VI if they feel like upcharging you another $500 for a six string bass. Or we get yet another Mark Agnesi ad shilling yet another 2 humbucker Tune-O-Matic Stoptail Les Paul like all the others....or some other thing that's just another rebranded vintage design. What, Boomer guitars not enough for you? How about you go to our new indie company that sells rebadged Guyker hardware equipped copies of Strandbergs! We're here for you, and about the music.
Ads about Dookie Kooky!
The literal shit has hit the fan with these ads, whether you're that bald guy with a voice that sounds like a 1980's butcher, or some woman telling us WAY too much about her G.I. Tract. Seems the whole "gut cleanse"/"gut health" suppliment thing is really taking off, with poorly rendered AI nightmare fuel straight out of the cutting room floor of The Real Ghostbusters - the Boogie Man ain't got nothing on the bacteria and worms living in your guts in some of these ads. Seriously, I'm surprised they haven't got Andrew Tate pushing Squatty Potties yet!
Anime Rendered Teenage Loser Story Ads!
So here it is, you got ASMR on YouTube, it's 4:00am, and suddenly the surfing nighttime seas becomes a story about some kid with special powers hidden in a locker at a military complex, all the while being beaten down by everybody. Then just when the kid might have a chance at redeption "Buy the whole series and find out what happens on loftreader.com's amazing selection of e-books". Maybe I should write a biography and monopolize on this trend - a story about a bastard son of a fireman country guitarist has to fight for his place among the local guitarists to save the world with his guitar shit.
Gun Guy Ads
And just when you thought the guitar ads were bad, at least they have modern ad production quality. TBH, I'm not even sure how these are even in my ad ecosystem. Seriously, first off, if you're selling "the worlds best holster"...how? Everyone carries something different....you can't tell me something designed for a pocket Glock is going to fit a full sized 1911 or Springfield XD! Then there are these guys selling the laser system where you practice with a actual friggin gun...but replace the bullets with a laser thing, and a sensor - gee...what if dad has to put down the Ruger to help the wife, then comes back and forgets his Everyday Carry gun is loaded, then proceeds to shoot a hole through the family TV, or worse!?!? BTW, I am pro gun...so this is why a LOT of these ads seem REALLY Stupid to me. Not to mention ALL of them say "world reknowned" or "best in the world" - when I've never even heard of em' before, no wonder everyone left wing including me thinks most gun people are morons. Seriously, I've heard Trump make less boisterous claims and that's saying something!
Political Ads
No matter what stripe of politics you come from, if any, It's always the same old shit. Some republitard granting a smear campaign against some corporate demonrat who then proceeds with the "for the children" bullshit, where then the reptiles join in because they know they can flip flop it to lure kids to LIttle St. James. Fucking Hell! And 99.9% of the time, I don't want to vote for any of these irritating idiots because more than half their policies are stupid, unconstitutional, or not very well thought out for the intended purpose for which they were created. But I'm also broken enough to keep my mouth shut about it, because nobody gives a fuck about my solutions for everything, say something and wait for the form-letter answer.
