ANNOYING YOUTUBE ADS More Random Shit from the Internet I Can't Stand
YouTube is pretty much over, it's just a giant advertising site run by Google, filled with the same, redaundant bullshit, day out and day in. So here's where I'm posting the ads that get on my last nerve currently.
Life Surge (2025)
You know, I'll set the precedent here in that I really don't know anything about what half these ads are going to be....maybe. But from what I can guess, Life Surge is some kind of right wing, religious business seminar. GREEEEAAAAAT! So apparently you spend money to sit in a room and listen to somebody trying to be a pastor, life coach, and Jeff Bezos all in one shot! Whoopeee! Where can I sign up? Is God gonna' make it rain!?!? I can't even make it through the ad more than maybe, I dunno, the 5 seconds required for me to click skip and the whole time I'm cringing with Vietnam War level flashbacks to living in the deep south as a teenager and being called a druggie and satanist because my hair was just slightly below my collar and my "uniform" was (and still is) a sleeveless and jeans! Also, doesn't anyone find it absurd how much America has all this shit where you spend money, to make money? That kind of situation either screams "pyramid scheme" or "cult" - this almost seems like it's both? So it's Charles Ponzi, Jonestown, and the Landmark Forum all in one shot. Eeek. And this is where we are going in 2025. This shit makes Ron Popeil's Pocket Fisherman look like something we need EINSTIEN to figure out! But hey, it's human beings in 2025, we live in a once "Free" country "ruled" by a failed gameshow host that bankrupt a casino and multiple businesses, and has a friend in an un-officiated department that's one letter short of "Dodge", a car with a bad tranmission, and hey, it's run by said friend who also just happens to have trucks that catch on fire, and the body panels fall off. So I'm not really surprised to see this dreck. Not happy to see it, just sayin', not surprised!
Toxic Poop Guy (2017?-present)
So it's years ago, and on comes this guy with the voice of a meat grinder talking about how "Do you know that the human body carries as much as 20 pounds of toxic poop?". GAHH! And now he has a new one along the lines of "I know I get on the internet and talk about poop a lot"....uh, you think? Every single ad with this man, is about poop. Dude, we all know entirely too much about your butthole. And knowing anything is too much. But seriously, every time I hear this voice come on, I know what I'm in for. The only thing weirder or stranger than this is that Cinco buttplug ad by that campy dude from 30 Rock! SHHHHHHH!!! I'd better not give this guy any ideas!
My Vampire System
It's 4am, I've got a horrible cold, I've fallen asleep listening to Video games 101 and The Grand Poo Bear playing old NES Games with much hilarity, and then suddenly that familiar AI voice everyone uses starts rambling on some lame-ass teen RomCom story about some boy with no powers getting cucked by his college girlfriend! Yes, it's My Vampire System....a series of seemingly hours long ads that ramble on and on about some dystopian Marvel DC Future where teenagers are given some kind of book that grants them special powers to deal with - along with all the other 'typical' high school bullshit that drove me to remain #ChildFree through the rest of my adult life. Oh wow, powerless boy gets cucked in a group of teenage military wannabes who think they are Vampires or somesuch shit? What is this, a glorified retelling of my high school nu-metal-band stories? I mean, here I am, congested, couging, otherwise sleep paralysed, and I have to hear about the cast of the worlds worst M*A*S*H reboot blabber on about books and coins and shit. Seriously, I just want Poo Bear to talk more about fighting giant evil blocks of ice after seeing Frankenstein doing the doggy paddle! Now this ridiculous shite!
