E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial 1982, ATARI |
Here it is, the most "hated" Atari VCS game on the entire internet....or of all time. In 1981-1983, Atari started entertaining making licenses of the efforts of famed movie Director Steven Speilberg, and developer Howard Scott Washaw. The first of these was "Raiders of the Lost Ark" based on te 1981 LucasFilm movie starring Harrison Ford, and then there was this one, the smash hit of 1982, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. A movie where a boy named Elliot discovers an alien botanist he nicknames "E.T." in the toolshed behind his house, and it leads to a wild adventure of hiding the alien from the FBI while trying to help him get home with the aid of a sawblade, a record player, and a Speak & Spell.
In E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, you play as E.T., who just landed in the forest and was marooned by his space ship. You have to use varios "zones" on the screen to find phone pieces, avoid the FBI and a Federal Scientist while enlisting the help of Elliot to get you out of sticky situations and earn him bonus points by giving him Candy (Reese's Pieces in the movie), and "phone home" to your spaceship so you can go home. The game sold like hotcakes, but was in general, a mediocre release at worst and marginally good at best. No, I'm not an E.T. Apologist, I'm just stating what the REAL truth about E.T. Was. Most of what we think is "history" started in 1990's when various people, trying to be funny on the early internet (myself included), started rambling on about the infamous video game crash. The REAL reason for the video game crash, was low quality games being put out by companies like Data Age (Bugs, Journey Escape), or the occasional critique of rushed releases like E.T., Pac-Man, and Coleco's port of Nintendo's Donkey Kong for the VCS. The REAL reason for the crash, was it was an early industry started by ex-hippies gone tech moguls, who were still figuring things out. Which by that point was being controlled by what usually is the REAL source of failure for all things business: BUSINESSMEN! They didn't understand their industry, saw these things as mere toys, did not ensure quality control, or enlist people they would view as "unprofessional" otherwise to actually TEST and Vet their games. The average Boomer c-suiter in 1983 was more interested in sneaking snorts of nose candy in their walk-in closests and flaunting their Rolexes and BMWs than they were creating a quality video game product. To them, a "proper" game would have been Pinochle or Cribbage over some Cabernet or Chardonnay on a Saturday night at the kitchen table. That Atari thing though? That's just a kid's toy! Maybe I'll buy him an IBM PC or Macintosh next year! The fact it was "so baD" it was dumped in an Algomordo New Mexico landfill is seriously overstated, it was just the typical American Corporation behavior of purging excess stock and ruining it so people can't buy them on the second hand market or let this stuff tarnish their image with an overstock of games that won't sell. But alas, here in 2025, the myth and legend that is the "horrible-ness" of E.T. seems here to stay, ranging from AVGN episodes to old Seanbaby posts, to just about every other attempt at internet humor using this convenient yet overstated scapegoat as to why Atari died. The truth of it was, Atari died in the 80's, because of poor business practices. While there's a lot of humor in this game to be found, it's not as bad as they say.My Experiences My first encounter with E.T. was as a 8 year old kid in 1989 with my first Atari 2600. And to be honest, I actually quite liked the game. I had 2 copies, 1 manual, and game variation 3 was quite fun TBH. Variations 1 and 2 were astronomically harder though. But horrible game? Nah. VENTURE is fucking terrible compared to this. The biggesst problem with E.T. is you need the manual to understand what's going on, and up till that point of 1982+, Atari games were meant to be something you could pick up and play without reading a manual to figure out on your own. They were a lot like indie game Five Nights at Freddy's in it's original release versions (first four) - you just picked it up, you got minimal instruction either informed by the game design or trial and error, and then you went about playing the game. That was it. This is a big part of why the 2600 continued to be a success up until 1983 or so, because the games were "pick-em-up-and-play", not like now where you need to read 500 pages of lore, look for hints and crap, and listen to an anime waifu tell you how to play it to play the game. Heck, even a complex RPG like friggin Dragon Warrior is more pick-up-and-play than E.T. is. The so called "cheap fail" in this game, is usually the pits, which is mentione din the manual, not very well, but it's mentioned. The trick is to stop pushing "UP" the minute you are back on the map screen and no longer in the pit, so you can move left or right to get away from the pit. The current copy of E.T. I have I bought in late 2024 for my Heavy Sixer because I had the manual for it, and because I now feel it's a staple of the collection of 2600 games. I had to damage the label to clean the PCB though because the game did not work when I got it due to very very dirty contacts.Videos Walkthroughs/Manuals/Reviews |