| DR.
MARIO |
 
Let's turn the clock back to 1990. Nintendo had scored exclusive console rights to Tetris - a puzzle game taking the world by storm, created by Alexi Pajitnov for DOS in the Soviet Union. But at the same time, Nintendo's big cash cow was a Plumber named Mario - yep, he was a PLUMBER, I don't care what anyone, even Nintendo says, that's how we grew up.
Tetris was everywhere. Computes, consoles, it was easily ported to one of those Tiger/Acclaim LCD handheld type devices! There was even a 100-in-1 games unit of that type with Tetris as the main game in the bloody Fingerhut catalog that year (anyone remmber that catalog). But also, MARIO was everywhere too. We woke up in the morning in our Mario pajamas, from our Mario sheet-clad beds, to fill our bowls with Mario cerial, wash our hair with Mario soap, put our lunch in a Mario Lunchbox and Thermos, take all that to school where we'd get in trouble all day for talking about Mario all day, and then come home, to write an essy around Mario for class while watching Captain Lou Albino and Danny Wells in the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, further driving us to pick up the games and play them till we went to sleep to dream about Mario levels that never existed (until later when we all became ROM hackers and game corruptors in the 2000's - but that's for the Game Genie article). So, naturally, it'd be a wise decision to take on the puzzle-game craze with a Mario-themed puzzle game in a simialr vein to Tetris. After all, these puzzle games were simple, easy to make, could reap a HUGE profit for the amount of effort required vs. say, another Super Mario Bros. 3 level project. It's a Win/Win situation, no way it could lose! And of course, Nintendo was right on the money, Dr. Mario, now moving Mario into the doctor's office (honestly it should have been called Pharmacist Mario but I digress), killing viruses by catching them in a bottle and literally dropping matching pills on them. Oh if only killing off COVID-19 were so easy. Those Thieving Women From a Former Life - My Experiences I know, some pretentious,duck-tail haircut Gen Y/Z is going to come in here and scream "sexist" at me for using a title the involves ex-girlfriends (or their friends) stealing my stuff. Look, you kids have it easy now. You have apps, you can find what you want just at a tap and touch. Granted, it could be far more impactful on your life if it becomes a very public rejection, but otherwise, you did not have to actually hang with and talk to a person to find out just what kind of terrible jackboot they really are. Back in my day, we had to MEET UP IN PERSON, and we had to talk about things, and hang out, and watch what the other person was doing...you never know, that person could be stealing the bowls and glassware from the resturant in their purse, or fleecing you for cash. So a million years ago, in my dark single years, I bought a copy of Dr. Mario at EB Games when they sold used NES games. Somewhere along the line, either an ex-girlfriend or friend of an ex stole my copy of Dr. Mario, and I think Final Fantasy as well. I know who took the limited edition Ice Blue GameBoy...but dangit, there was a reason (several really) in the mid 2000's I almost took a vow of chastity unless it was NSA! Seriously, theives are thieves, whether they break into your house, or break into your heart! So with that mini-rant about crappy girlfriends out of the way, as none of it matters now, I'm happily married for 10 years as of next year! I finally recovered in 2018 and bought a copy of Dr. Mario at the gaming store nearby that I visit quite a bit. And honestly, this is one of those games I like to play just to relax. I dont' need to think too much, I just chillax with something cool to drink and it's like I'm the old guy playing checkers in the park! Yeah, no midlife crisis for ol' creepingnet here, I EMBRACE my "old-ness". Old is cool! Video(s) Review |
