This was the game you had in the 80's that you hid under your bed with your porn magazines, a pack of cigarettes, and some condoms you'd hopefully get to use with a girl before they expire. But the funny part is all that stuff was far more edgy than this piece.

My personal introduction to Leisure Suit Larry was actually through my 20-something year old Gen Xer sister in the early 90's. Apparently, this, back in the day, was seen as practically a porno game. But to my 10 year old brain, it was a massive mystery, just what was so bad about. Mind you, I had not discovered "sex" yet, so that was not crossing my mind, at least not that much. To me, it seemed absurd because "games" were "kids entertainment" even to my 10 year old mind, not for adults. The only way I started to figure this out, was discovering a whole new world through the unattended TV watching of Gen Xers at the time....you know, Beavis and Butthead, USA Network Television late night with Elvira, Mistress of the dark, Aeon Flux, Liquid Television...and it did not help I looked like a 18 year old at 10 years old so that I could just wander into a pile of Gen Xers on the Auburn University campus and come off like one of their own. After all, I was the kid playing Atari 2600 games, listening to The Cars, and who had a quasi-mullet haircut like Benjamin Orr....which I still rock off/on to this day. So I looked like an 80's kid who never left the 80's, and grew up to be an 80's young adult. So I fit right in. Seriously, why nobody thanks the lucky stars I had not had my biological "wiring" finished yet at that point is beyond me. But anyway....

Leisure Suit Larry, as I understood it in my 12 year old mind, - and based on the fact that people made fun of Leisure Suits, which were, as I understood it a thing from the 70's, meant that this was a game about a ladies man of some kind from the 70's. So basically, some kind of outdated, "Bob Barker" lookin' fella with a gold necklace and a leisure suit was my imagination.

And surprisingly, when I was 16, and left to my own devices at my sister's adult home at the age of 16 in the middle of nowhere USA for a part of a summer....of course I took into slapping this into the Bro-in-Law's Windows 95 equipped 486 and playing it direct off the 720K floppy. What's even crazier is in between the Nintendo Strategy Guide I wish I'd pilfered, a copy of Metallica's "Ride The Lightning"....yeah, so my "Metallica Thing" predated Zach just a little bit, I'd spend my nights listening to "For Whom the Bell Tolls" Softly guiding this dinosaur loser around the town of Las Wages.

In 1986, Al Lowe decided to translate SoftPorn Adventure by OnLine Systems/Sierra On-Line into a graphical adventure game using Sierra's AGI (Adventure Game Interpreter) engine. Little did he know that this would grow into a complete series of games.

And yes, the story is a bit more "mature", but it's not exactly x-rated. The girls you do get to...uh *ahem* perform horizontal acrobatics with, are pretty well censored to interrupted by cut scenes. So I'd say it's more like a Rated R game on the same level as Basic Instinct (yes the movie, and yes I've seen it) - actually, Basic Instinct is a bit more "porn-y" than this game is. So if you came here looking for some 16-color 160x200 CGA skin, you came to the wrong place - I'd suggest Mark Eteer's "Fuck Quest" for that one.

But you have to remember, having graphics like this in 1986 in a computer game that runs this well was damn near IMPRESSIVE. Remember, back then, a computer was a tremendous investment, most families, if faced with a need for a computer, had to choose between a computer, or a Toyota Corolla - because they cost about the same at the time. And most likely, they bought the Corolla and dad kept using the SWTPC in the basement - because people had more sense back then. And if they went with a computer, it was not the cutting edge 286 monster the IT pro making $60/hr down the street had, it would be some pokey litle 8088 thing with a single channel bleeper, or an IBM PC Jr on clearance. And most likely, THIS game would be DADDY'S game - after all, it features a "BOSS KEY" for christ sake to fool your boss that you're working on bar graphics for whatever silly metric your mid 80's corporation would need, and not parlaying around Las Wages as a virgin loser looking to get laid. AFter all, your average C-suite balding, moustached, middle-aged pea-head of the 1980's most liekly thought you "Broke the computer" by touching the function keys, because we all know he was cheating on his wife with the secretary he low-grade harasses daily, not reading the fucking manual like the 286 guy wants him to do before calling Helpdesk again!

Anyway, back on track. THIS to me is a excellent demonstration on how to make low resolution, limited pallet graphics look excellent. Actually, Sierra did a really good job of this in general from 1985 onward - go look at Space Quest, Police Quest, or King's Quest III: Escaping the Rat Bastard Time Nazi Wizard Pedo. Mananannannannanan. There's some well placed dithering, so it looks very attractive. Also, the ladies are drawn rather attractive, even that b**** Fawn (I'll get to her in a bit).

But this is about the sound. At that time, I would have given it a THREE! Because I was playing it on a 486 computer (way too new for this game), with a SoundBlaster card (which did not yet have a driver when this game was made). So I was stuck with the single channel bleeper. And it pissed me off periodically, especially that damn dog! Seriously, the single-channel version of that was ear-rape from the likes I had not encountered since the time I played Dragon Warrior on my smartphone via emulator and fell asleep while grinding on the overworld. Honestly, I just muted the darned thing - that's why three, not one - and put on Night Ranger to blank it out....Night Ranger seems oddly apropriate for this game, it just fits.