 ULTIMATE CUSTOM REVIEW aka. FNAF FROM THE ADULT PERSPECTIVE - PART IV: Freddy Fazbear's Fever Dream Simulator |
  Ultimate Custom Night would be the last time I would pay attention to the FNaF Franchise, and would leave on an up-note. Ultimate Custom Night was exactly the FNaF Game I had been asking for in my head all those years - a lore unimportant game where you could choose your animatronics,a nd go to town going up against them. The whole cast is here, Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy - in their withered, Nightmare, and Toy forms, as well as Golden Freddy, freadbear, Nightmare, Didi, Balloon Boy, Chipper, and the "Mediocre Melodies" cast including my personal favorite - Mr. Hippo.
I always called this one "Ultimate Fever Dream" because I played it on mute in summer 2018 when it came out. It literally looked like a fever dream without the context of sound. You're sitting in this room, littered with various robots, some coming, some going, some randomly appearing, some from the vents, and they are all a little uncanny valley at least, and creepy to deal with. All the while getting blasted in the face by ads, a shopping cart, someone's Mattel Fisherman handheld game, virus messages, and of course, jumpscares. And now, ladie's and gentlement, I have a guest speaker today....FNaF's very own Mediocre Melody, and resident rantconteur - Mr. Hippo (booing and yawning ensues)... Mr. Hippo ~ Hello people. Well, I guess now that I have you here, I guess I can tell you all about this game and the memories we had making it. See, I was hanging out in the filter grate of the HVAC with my good friend Orville. We were on, maybe it was the 7th, maybe the 6th layer of Dante's Inferno? I dunno. I think 6th was Heresy, so maybe it was 8th? No...I think that's Fraud. That's where Flumpty Bumpty went to. Maybe we were on 7th or 9th, that much I know, it was treacherous, but it was also pretty violent. Anyway, life goes on, no matter what level of the backrooms or dante's inferno you visit, I guess that's what I am saying. Anyway, I remember night one Me and Orville were sitting in the vent talking about feeding the ducks Rye Bread....or maybe it was Whole Wheat? I dunno, that summer day was a long long time ago. And I told him "give me a boost", I want to find out what that screaming noise is coming from. Anyway, Orville said "Maybe I should go". I had to argue back "But I want to go and check it out, seems interesting." So he gave me a push up to the grate....or did I push Him up to the grate. Either way, it does not really matter, I think we both went up there at some point... Actually, Orville went there first, ah yes, now I remember. And Orville came back and told me "yeah, there's a Zombie in there screaming with all his muscles showing". I told him " that's gross Orville, I don't want ot hear anymore". Orville replied back to me "well, it was not that gross, actually, it's all dry muscle, looks like a machine made out of bologna covered in desert sand". Whatever that means. Anyway, I went up there and proceeded to climb through the vents. I could hear a man screaming, a few of those advertisements for our stage show sponsors, and I think for a few minutes I had to stop halfway through the grate when my niece Chica, looking worse for wear, happened to be halfway through the grate. "After you" I said. and Chica replied back "well, actually, you go first, the last time I was in there I could not get my torso past the demarcation between the air vent and the wall, my hips got caught on a few loose screws, and he survived the night". After a few minutes of talking it over, mulling over the screws, and how to get past, Orville tossed a screwdriver in the vent and said "Here friend, use this" - so I took the screwdriver, stuck it in my bowtie....it was pretty small, actually it said "Afton Robotics" on it. It looked like one of those tiny "computer" screwdrivers they give you at a computer trade show. Anyway, I went there and removed a few screws for Chica when her turn to arrive would come. Then I came in the room and started talking to this man. I hung out of signt around the grate for about 20 minutes, peering out at the screaming zombie who was frantically looking at a laptop computer and scanning the room with a flashlight. What a party was going on, man, I'll tell you. We had a creepy marionette following him around, some creepy kid staring him down. I saw Bonnie's toothy bigger brother at the door for a hot minute. Lots of fun to watch. That's why I hung out for so long. Then he put his nose in the laptop, I knew this was my chance you know. So I climbed down the grate, and wandered on by. The whispers of various groaning began to happen, as started to mentally prepare for my special monologue that I was about to rattle off the top of my head. See, I'd always wanted to be a life coach when I grew up, that's what I always wanted to be. Not sure why I just said that. But anyway, I wanted to maybe talk to him, find out why he's screaming. So I told him all about my times with Orville, man, some of the best conversation I'd had in my life. I sat there and talked to him, as he started at me, perplexed, confused, seemingly a little bored. He put his hand on his cheek and almost began to weep after I told him all about my good friend Orville, those ducks that we fed bread to, the shop where we got the bread from, and how life goes on. Well, I have never seen such a range of emotions from a rotten zombie face before, it was kind of amazing. He began to tear up and put his head on the desk. But hey, I figured maybe my stories would continue to console him. So I kept on going. Before too long though, Dante, Nightmare Cusin Bonnie, and my good Friend Orville walked into the room. "Torturing the prisoner again eh?" Orville said. "No, just telling him a story, maybe I'll make him feel better" I said. Orville then got a very confused look on his face and said "Seems more like you're torturing him, leave some torment for the rest of us please". "B-b-b-b-ut, uh, Orville....you know that this will give a bit of a stronger impact on the prisoner when we come back in the next round right? You know, you can't just keep being abrasive. It's like a song, you have to have dynamics for the louder sections to have an impact". At this point the Zombie turned to Orville, and the other guys and says "Christ, stab me, kick me, harm me in any way possible, just get that THING out of here!". "Thing!?!?" I Said, "that's not very nice". The Zombie then said "But you have some of the longest, most boring, banal, annoying, long, drawn out stories ever told! I swear, reading the phone book would be more entertaining!". Orville then turned to me and said "C'mon, let's go, we'll get some rye bread, and go feed the ducks with old man Consequences. After all, he might be there eventaully". "I guess you're right" says I, as we walked out of the door and continued to wander into a room of pure red. And that was a pretty decent day in...whatever layer of H-E-double-hockey-sticks we were in. THE HISTORY OF FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S PART VII: TIED UP WITH A NICE LITTLE BLACK BOW Ultimate Custom Night came out in June or July 2018 and was to be the final nail in the coffin of FNaF. At this point, I was kind of done with it, and considered this a great send-off for the series. Everyone sort of did their farewells at that point as we got into other franchises and gaming. By this point, i wa sback in a band, so gaming was taking a back seat to guitar-ing. And I'd lost a lot of ocntact with what was going on in FNaF at that point. From that point onward, the series would go dark for a few more years. And my wife was utterly happy, because she did not have to hear the name "Bonnie" or "Mr. Hippo" anymore for awhile - for at least several years. Until 2023 when the movie came out. As for FNaF, well, a bunch of stuff happened. In 2020, Cawthon was outed by a public listing of his contributions to politics on the conservative side on opensecrets.org, and it raised a huge red flag and freakout from the FNaF community as a lot of people in that community are minorities, LGBTQ+, and honestly, I don't know why anyone was surpised by it, he is a CHRISTIAN animator for pete's sake. That led to him making a final public post with his tail between his legs, and eventually him directing the serious through a new company, Steel Wool STudios, who released more games. By this point, I felt the simplicity had been lost. Regardless of affiliations, I was more concerned with the series overt complexity. I feel the new movie is a step in the right direction to draw me back in, at least for awhile, until we are talking about Dante's Inferno and Robots with their own mechanical wombs for dead kids.PLOT: 8/10 GRAPHICS: 9/10 SOUND: 8/10 GAMEPLAY: 7.5/10 OVERALL |
